From Ashes to Eden (Part 3 of 16)
They Tried to Bury Us… But God Planned a Garden. This is Part 3 of a 16-part testimony about what happened to me over the past decade — and how God had to completely break me in order to use me to help others.
Just joining the series? Read the full story from the beginning here.
This is Part 3 of a 16-part testimony about what happened to me over the past decade — and how God had to completely break me in order to use me to help others.
The first three parts of this series are free. Parts 4–16 are for paid subscribers only (after a free preview) and contain the full, unfiltered story, along with updates on Eden Revival and my ongoing court fights.
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me.’” — Isaiah 6:8
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From Ashes to Eden: Part 3 of 16
Just joining the series? Read the full story from the beginning here.
Lockdown
When the 2020 lockdown hit, it felt like the entire world was being forced into the cage I’d been living in for half a decade.
We were locked inside our homes. Schools closed indefinitely. I couldn’t work at all — I was home full-time with the kids.
The isolation I’d known inside my marriage for years suddenly became everyone’s reality. Cut off from friends and family. Stripped of any sense of control.
The Ides of March & The Cardinal
On March 15, 2020 — the Ides of March and the National Day of Prayer — I woke up around 3 or 4 a.m. I scrolled the news for a while, then went out for an early walk.
There was a dead, legless male red cardinal on my front lawn. On the concrete next to him was the word: water.
I didn’t understand it at the time.
I took a photo because I knew it meant something. When birds show up like that, I pay attention. I knew it was a sign from God. I just didn’t know what it was pointing to.
It wouldn’t make sense until two years later.
That same day — March 15, 2020 — something else happened. That was the day I broke through to what Dr. Joe Dispenza calls the crown center.
Water & Frequency
In 2019, I started drinking homemade silica water and meditating daily.
After reading Dennis Crouse's book, Silica Water: The Secret of Healthy Longevity in the Aluminum Age, I started making silica-rich water at home using his recipe and I have been drinking it ever since. See my recipe for How to Add Silica to Your Drinking Water.
I had been drinking silica water (silica-rich water – like Fiji water) since 2018 after I became familiar with Christopher Exley's research on aluminum and how silica helps to detox it.
I had been meditating daily since January of 2020, after I finished reading Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Spiritual Awakening
I believe the silica (clearing aluminum from my brain) combined with meditation (raising my frequency) sparked my spiritual awakening.
By early 2020, I was meditating every morning. Within six weeks, I'd effortlessly dropped 15 pounds — without dieting or exercise.
Every morning, I'd enter the Alpha brainwave state (as Dr. Joe describes) and visualize the scale dropping. And it did.
Chlorine Dioxide Took the Spiritual Awakening To Eleven
The cardinal and "water" didn't fully click until late February 2022, when I added chlorine dioxide to my silica water routine.
That sparked a second awakening — one tied to my ancestry, which I'll unpack in an upcoming part of this series. Water unlocking truth.
Blessing of the Energy Centers
In those early weeks of 2020, I was doing Dr. Joe’s “Blessing of the Energy Centers” meditation every single day — sometimes twice a day, even while walking.
I didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time. I just knew something was shifting.
The lower energy centers — the ones connected to survival — are tied to fear, control, reproduction, status, power. When we live in those centers, we live in fight-or-flight.
And fight-or-flight is where control thrives.
Crowning: Being Born Again
But when you move your awareness upward — up into the heart energy center, the throat, the pineal, the crown — a switch flips. The body starts to produce oxytocin, the love chemical.
The nervous system softens. Gratitude starts to take the place of fear. Joy overcomes vigilance.
I didn’t know the science at the time. I just knew I was starting to feel free.
On March 15, 2020 — the same morning I saw that dead cardinal — I felt an energy, like a weight, on the top of my head. Like I was wearing a hat or sunglasses, but there was nothing there.
That was the crown energy center opening up.
Coronavirus: The Mind Virus
Corona means crown. Virus means poison or toxin.
While the world panicked about the “coronavirus,” I was laughing because I got the inside joke. They were trying to poison our crown energy center.
But that awakening came at a cost. My husband didn’t like the version of me that felt expansive and connected. He kept saying I sounded crazy.
So I stopped. I stopped meditating. I stopped ascending. I chose marriage over expansion.
But it didn’t save the marriage.
Coercive Control on a Mass Scale
In early 2020, while I was having this awakening, the world was spiraling into fear. Masks. Lockdowns. Isolation.
It was the same system I had been living inside privately. Coercive control works the same way whether it’s inside a marriage or across a nation.
You isolate people.
You destabilize them financially.
You keep them afraid.
And once they are afraid and dependent, you can control them. That was my marriage.
No access to my own money.
Cut off from friends and family.
Constant belittling.
Always walking on eggshells.
And suddenly I could see it happening at scale. The same psychological tactics. The same tightening of the cage. When you’ve lived it personally, you recognize it immediately.
Coercive Control and Fight or Flight
Coercive control in domestic relationships mirrors this same dynamic.
The narcissist craves control. Since they are stuck in the lower energy centers, they feel powerless and want to control everything and everyone around them.
If you are in a relationship with narcissists and you break out of the coercive control system, it's very threatening to them.
This is what happened in my family when I made a million dollars and lost 40 pounds back in 2013. It was threatening to my ex-husband and his mother.
People who are stuck in the control grid (the big one, run by the "globalists" who control the whole world) do not like it when people get free.
Ever hear that story about the crabs in a bucket? When the crabs try to climb out, the other crabs drag them back down.
Only by raising your frequency can you tune out the lower vibration people, and get out of that bucket.
When the Coercive Control Became Physical
In the summer of 2020, just a few months after I stopped meditating, my husband became violent for the first time.
He shoved me across a room. I hit the floor hard. Another time he pushed me and I fell down the stairs.
I didn’t call anyone. I didn’t leave him. I told myself we were just stressed due to the lockdown. I told myself it wouldn’t happen again.
I made a decision: Staying quiet would keep the family together.
Moving to Texas
That summer he decided we were moving to Texas because California schools were taking too long to reopen.
I packed our 5,000-square-foot house almost entirely alone. Box by box. Room by room. Preschooler underfoot.
We arrived in August. His mother loaned us $70,000 toward the new house. Another string keeping me tied down. Another layer of leverage they had over me.
In October, Facebook permanently banned me for sharing the Hunter Biden laptop story.
I had been warning people about the Covid shot. And suddenly — no one could hear me.
It was like a bad dream. You're fighting for your life, and you're trying to scream, but no sound is coming out.
The move was supposed to be a fresh start. Instead, it felt like the noose tightening.
The Second Cardinal Sighting (Six Years Later)
Six years after I saw the first cardinal in March of 2020, I saw another cardinal. This time, a female.
It was January 7th, 2026, the day after Joan of Arc’s birthday. My patron saint.
I had been seeing kumquats on my morning walks for days. Kumquats symbolize abundance and are tied to the Lunar New Year.
I wrote about the kumquats here: How Do You Like Them Kumquats?
The female cardinal felt like the death of the old me. The weak and powerless version of me. The scared one, who had to shrink and be silent in order to stay alive.
I buried her with kumquats.
The male cardinal prophesied the death of my marriage. The female cardinal marked my rebirth.
God was showing me that I don't have to be that person anymore.
I was born to be a leader in the New Earth.
And if you’re still reading this — so were you.
A Chapter Ending
Seeing that second bird gave me certainty. The chapter that began in 2020 was ending.
And I could finally see why it all had to unfold the way it did.
God’s timing is precise. Nothing happens before it is meant to. The more I lean on him, the more I see how completely I can trust Him.
Check back for Part 4...
2021 detonated like a bomb: my husband's heart crisis, relatives collapsing from the shots I warned them not to take, my long-lost German soulmate resurfacing – and God's voice whispering: "You will build cathedrals from the ruins."
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